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How many of you get help from your parents?
I wish my parents had deep pockets but that’s not the case. They’re retired and living on a fixed income. I know my Mom and Dad wish they could help but I don’t think I would ever ask them for help unless it was absolutely necessary. I certainly don’t think I could do it with good conscience while still having cable and eating out. I know my Mom has offered to help now that my Dad is getting social security. She said that if it gets too tough to let them know. I just shook my head okay but I felt bad that she even had it on the brain.
So do you get parental support? How do you feel about it?
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4 comments:
Parents will always have stuff like that on the brain because they're, well, parents. I've just determined that they can't help themselves.
My parents paid a few months of my rent when I first graduated and was unemployed, and they paid for me to come see them when I started working (I'm in VA and they're in CA), for two years I believe.
My mother has said that she's going to start giving me $1,000 every year. Don't think this is altruistic: this money is dedicated toward student loan repayment, IN PARTICULAR the loans she cosigned for. I have no problem with getting the funds for that purpose, and she knows that paying those loans is a huge primary concern to me.
Other than that, I've refused all other help, which hasn't always been easy. My parents both work, but they also help with my grandparents, and I feel that's enough of a struggle for them. If things are dire, I'll let them know, but thankfully that's been a non-issue thus far.
There is a difference in WANTING versus NEEDING help. I think it is our responsibility to make sure we are doing everything we can, before we get to a point of needing help. If you have cable and are going out to eat then you are only in a state of wanting help.
I am not in a position where I need help, but I WANT all I can get. My parents don't help take care of any necessities, but they have given me money for my car loan as a Christmas gift or purchased plane tickets for me to visit. Everything they give is truely a gift.
My parents paid for a lot of my undergrad, my rent for at least a year in law school, gave me a (beater) car and paid my insurance and somtimes some spending cash too while I was still a student. They are paying for my wedding reception. I'm very grateful for all their help and frankly don't think I would be where I am without it. At the same time it was hard to accept it sometimes because of various strings.
Sallie's Niece makes an excellent point about the "strings" (sometimes gifts from relatives are used to maintain control over adult children), but I too am extremely grateful for things my parents have done for me over the years--namely, paid for my entire undergrad education, bought me a car when I really needed one, and helped me out financially when I was laid off from my job some years ago. I have never expected anything from them, though, and never would. Outside of those things I have lived on my own since I was 18 and paid all of own bills--and unfortunately gotten into my own debt, too! :)
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