Monday, November 12, 2007

Sharing Financial Information…

For some people, finances can be a very personal subject. Until recently, my mother has been very secretive about her finances, particularly the amount of debt my parents have. I think in some way, she is embarrassed about how much debt they have and I estimate that it is probably in the $25M range in addition to car loans. My father is probably more in the dark than I am. He is very hands off to say the least.

It wasn’t until my mother was approaching retirement and had questions, that she began to open up. I know how much they have in savings, how much income they generate through pension plans, and I know about their insurance policies. I also know where everything is should something happen to my parents. Since I am the attorney in the family and my sister is a teacher, I will more than likely handle a lot of issues going forward. Thankfully, my sister and I have a very good relationship, she trusts me and she is also fully aware and informed about my parents’ affairs. Everything that is shared with me is shared with her.

Unfortunately, the last few weeks have been tough for my parents. Within 10 days, they attended three funerals and my mother attended another funeral on Saturday. All of this has weighed heavily on my mom and she and my dad would like to make sure their affairs are in order should something happen to them. My sister and I are on their bank accounts and insurance policies as beneficiaries but the main thing they are concerned about is their home. I know that their insurance policies are set up to pay off the mortgage on the house first and then whatever is left goes to the surviving spouse or me and my sister.

I called today to make an appointment for my parents to see an attorney so they can get their affairs in order. As you know, life can throw you a curveball at any moment and tomorrow is not promised. I know my parents were hoping that I would be able to take care of setting everything up but to tell you the truth, I know very little about Estates & Trusts although I know a lot more than a simple layperson. What I am excited about is that my parents are completely open to me being present at the meeting so I will be able to learn through this process and gain some additional legal skills. Secondly, it will also allow me the benefit of finding out a little more about my parents’ finances.

I am an open book when it comes to my finances. I talk to my mother all the time about how much debt I have, how much I make, and what my plans are. We are actually a very close family so it’s good that I am able to share this information. It also makes it easier for them to share with me.

6 comments:

SavingDiva said...

It's great that you are able to share your finances with your parents. I'm not comfortable enough with my parents to do that...

Chitown said...

A lot of people aren't. If we had a more transparent society, I think a lot of people would be more confortable with being honest about themselves, what they can afford and where they are financially. Then they wouldn't feel like they had to pretend like they had more than they do.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid to have that talk with my parents. Only because I know they expect me to take care of them when they get too old, which scares the crap out of me because I know that would wipe me out financially. I love them very much and would want to take care of them, but realistically that's just not possible. I'm single, no children, and not married. I'm not rolling in money so the thought of taking care of one or both of my parents brings dread upon me on several levels. Part of me resents it also because when it's all said and one, there is no one around to take care of me when I get old so what money I make now is all I'll have when I'm older. Literally.

So yeah. There are some issues here. I guess a talk with them to find out where they are at and what expectations they have might be a good idea. I just have no idea how to approach it without being negative.

Escape Brooklyn said...

My parents won't give me any money details. (Never have, never will.) Perhaps that's why I've rebelled and started a blog putting all my info out there?

I agree that financial transparency is best and am constantly worried about whether my parents will be able to support themselves. My mom just dismissively tells me not to worry, which of course doesn't help!

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